Jenny’s Melodies for Mums Experience

Her emotion is palpable during our conversation, but she says that what I’m hearing in her voice, is happiness, because the singing groups meant so much to her and it’s all coming back to her as we speak.

Jenny tells me that she experienced complications after Renji’s birth, resulting in him being taken into neo-natal care, where he stayed for a week or so. It was an intensely challenging time for her and her partner as they adjusted to being new parents, while unable to be by their child’s side. She also talked of the many difficulties of breastfeeding when your baby is in a neo-natal ward, and the impact this had on her.

Soon after, Jenny was able to take Renji home. Although his health had improved and she had bonded well with her beautiful baby, she found herself struggling with low moods. She couldn’t understand why, at a time when everybody tells you you’re supposed to be filled with joy, she felt so down.

“Asking for help is difficult,” she tells me. “I’d brought a new human into the world. It was a huge adjustment that affected my emotional and mental health. When you’re in it, it’s difficult to know whether it’s just the baby blues, or something more, because you’ve got so many balls in the air. I constantly had the nagging feeling that something was wrong. I was wondering, what’s going on? Why am I feeling like this? But I struggled to ask for help.”

Jenny lived under the weight of her feelings for months, before meeting Tim Osborn, Breathe Project Manager for Melodies for Mums, at a baby weigh-in clinic. Tim was handing out leaflets for the sessions, and Jenny says she jumped at the chance to participate.

“I’m passionate about music”, she says, “I’ve loved it since I was little. I could see how the sessions could be a positive for me and my son.”

She talks to me about her experience of the sessions. About how much she enjoyed the singing and how she incorporated it into her daily life afterwards. She still remembers the songs.

She also talks about how refreshing it was to be there with a group of other women, but without having to talk about why she was there. She tells me that she’s quite an open person, but that not all mums want to talk about their feelings, and it was good that there was no pressure.

“I felt so safe in the class. The group leaders were so warm and welcoming. There was no stigma. We were all just there singing and trying to find ourselves through music. The sessions really increase your energy level and mood which is vital when you have a baby. They reminded me that as a mum, you have to count yourself as important. You can’t neglect yourself.”

In fact, something Jenny emphasises multiple times throughout our conversation is how meaningful it is that the Melodies for Mums sessions are focused on the mothers, not the babies.

“When you become a parent, everyone asks about the baby, but what about the mum? The mums get forgotten. With Breathe Melodies for Mums, the babies do benefit and it’s an extra; however it’s when mums invest time into themselves that it has a direct effect on their own well-being which in turn helps their babies. Taking time out for a short weekly session filled with music could make such a difference; for me, I would do it time and time again knowing how much it helps our family”.

I ask Jenny about life after her second child was born. She tells me says that she experienced low moods, much like she did with Renji, and that it was really difficult.  She talks movingly of how much she could have benefited from Melodies for Mums again, but stopped short of looking into availability, because she did not want to deprive another woman of a space.

I tell her that we hope through our research with King’s College London, to build a case for singing interventions to be available nationally through the NHS. So that women like her can benefit from the service, whenever they need it, whether it’s their first child or not.

“Oh wow” she says. “If you could reach the goal of making it standard for all women to get this kind of support that would be amazing. I would recommend it to any new mums. People don’t realise how powerful the arts can be for your mental health.”

To find out more about our current Melodies for Mums programmes including dates, times and how to sign up, please click here