Ruth’s Melodies for Mums experience

“Firstly, I was quite happy to have a room by myself, with everything I needed close by. But then I realised I was completely alone, I wasn’t allowed any visitors, not even my husband. I had had lots of anxiety during pregnancy about the birth and scans etc, but I hadn’t thought about the postnatal period. I felt like I had been hit by a bus and suddenly realised I had no idea what to do with my baby. The Midwives were great, but they were completely overwhelmed and so busy.”

After a few days Ruth was finally allowed to go home, but on arrival she and her husband and days old Henry had to quarantine for 14 days. Ruth said it was one of the hardest things she has ever done in her life, due to not having the support from her friends and family in those first few weeks.

Then the winter lockdown hit.

“Normally when there is a new baby you have your friends and family around helping with cleaning and cooking, there was none of that. We had this beautiful baby we wanted to show off but couldn’t do anything about it. We had quite a few doorstep visits where we held Henry up like Simba from the Lion King, but that was it.”

After Ruth’s husband went back to work, this is when Ruth really started to feel the effects of being a new mother in the pandemic without any tangible support. She spoke about how everything had just become a mundane routine and how she found it difficult to find things to entertain herself and Henry throughout the days.

“I was at a point where I was feeling really isolated and alone, I couldn’t speak to others about how I was feeling. I tried to take part in some mum and baby groups online, but it wasn’t the same. I wanted to talk to other new mums and find new activities to stop Henry and I from climbing up the walls. I saw Melodies for Mums on social media and thought it would be something nice to do, as I have always had a love for singing. I used to sing in the choir at school and university. I didn’t initially sign up as I hadn’t been formally diagnosed with postnatal depression and was worried that I wouldn’t be eligible. But then I saw it advertised again and decided to fill in the forms and see what would happen. I wish I’d signed up sooner, as I really struggled during the winter lockdown.”

Despite not having had a formal diagnosis of postnatal depression, Ruth still decided to sign up to the research study programme. Ruth completed all the pre-screening questionnaires and interviews with the SHAPER research team and was found to be eligible.

“The songs were easy to learn, and catchy. You didn’t have to have music or singing abilities to join in. We would have a chat at the beginning and after the sessions to see how we were all doing. I’ve really missed the sessions since the programme finished.”

Ruth explained how Melodies for Mums is different to other mum and baby groups she has attended, where usually the focus is on the baby not the mother; “Melodies was all about supporting the mum, that’s the way it should be.”

“Singing is like an endorphin hit just like exercise; it helps you with your mental health. I always felt better after Melodies for Mums no matter how I felt at the start. It broke up the same monotonous daily routine of changing nappies, feeding, and putting Henry to bed.”

Ruth explains how Henry also benefited from the sessions, how he loved the music and would bop around during the sessions and babble along to the music. Ruth thinks that the programme has benefited Henry’s language development.

“Melodies for Mums has definitely improved my wellbeing and in doing so, has made Henry calmer too. I still sing the songs daily, if he’s stroppy I’ll put the songs on to cheer him up.”

 “I would recommend Melodies for Mums to any new mother. You don’t need to be good at singing; the songs aren’t difficult, and the group is supportive. Everyone is there to help each other. Melodies for Mums fills a gap, as there is nothing out there like it solely for mums who need this type of support the most.”

To find out more about our current Melodies for Mums programmes including dates, times and how to sign up, please click here or email us on M4M@breatheahr.org